I’m writing a book and I want to get it published. Does this excerpt capture your attention?
p.s. sorry if you’re feeling lost about who everyone is. I kinda grabbed it right out of the middle of the book, haha.
~*~
I’ve been sitting in front of the TV for half an hour now, not really watching it. This show called Cook Yourself Thin is on, but I lost interest in it about three months ago. I think I’m going to call Abigale. I hurriedly get up and dig in my jeans pockets for my phone and in my shoulder bag for the worn piece of paper with Abigale’s number on it, and start dialing. The phone rings four times, and right before I press the End button, a muffled voice says wearily, "Hello?"
"Um, Hello." I say, just as wearily. "My name is Calida Monday. Is Abigale Mason there?"
"Oh, hey Calida. This is Peter."
"Hi." I say politely, but impatiently.
"Abigale isn’t here right now. Can I take a message?"
"No, that’s okay. I actually just wanted her opinion on something. I’ll call again tomorrow or something."
"Maybe I can help. What do you need an opinion on?" Peter sounds a little more alert.
"Nothing, really. There’s something in my attic. Something leaking, and my mom and I can’t quite figure out what it is."
"Do you want me to take a look?" Peter offers. Weird offer to make when you’ve just met somebody, isn’t it?
"I couldn’t ask you to do that." I laugh softly. " It’s not that big a deal."
"No, it’s okay. I don’t mind," he insists. "Do you mind if I come over in, oh, about ten minutes?"
"I don’t know," I start panicking. "You’re a boy, and-"
"I’m just helping you out with your attic. I’m sure your mom will understand." Peter interrupts. Why is he so keen on helping me with the attic leakage problem?
"Do you remember where I live?" I ask hesitantly. Man, I need to work on my refusal skills.
"’Course I do. I’ll be there soon." Peter hangs up. I flip my phone shut and shove it back into my pocket. So a boy is coming to my house. A boy I barely know, who seems to want to help me in the attic. Either he’s a 30 year-old rapist in disguise, or he’s just really, really nice. Is everyone here so hospitable?
I unwillingly trudge down the hall to mom’s room to let her know that we’ll be having company. First of all, she won’t be too happy that I’m interrupting her sleep. Second, she’ll be even less happy to hear that a male, hormonal boy will be alone with me in the attic. Lastly, I don’t think mom bought enough dinner supplies for three. "Mom," I rap quickly on the door and then lean against the wall beside it, anticipating an annoyed shout from the other side of the door.
"Come in," I hear instead. I open the door just a tad, and peek through. Mom is sitting up in her bed under the sheets and watching a sitcom on one of that old-fashioned, black and white, portable TVs in front of her with a small bag of popcorn in her hands. "Hey, sweetie. What do you need?" She says without looking up at me.
"Someone’s coming over in a few minutes. Is that okay? We won’t bother you."
"Who?"
Damn it. The question I was trying to avoid. "Just someone I know from school. He’s going to try to figure out what’s leaking in the attic."
"He? Who’s he?"
"Peter Mason."
Mom is silent for a while. I can’t tell if she’s watching the sitcom, or silently deliberating her answer. Finally, she speaks. "You know you’re not allowed to have boys over." She reaches for a bag of skittles on her nightstand.
"Yeah, I know, but he insisted. And wouldn’t a male that knows about all the technical stuff about a house be more appropriate for the situation?"
"I suppose, but you’ll be in the attic alone, and I don’t trust this Peter." Mom looks at me for the first time since I opened her door. I could see in her facial expression that she wanted to be a cool mom, but also wanted to do the right thing.
I didn’t want to pressure her, so I said, "That’s okay. I can just tell him to go back home." I start to close the door before mom says something again.
"Well, if his sole purpose for coming over is to figure out the leakage problem, I guess he can come over," mom agrees.
"Are you sure? I didn’t really want him to come over, either."
"Well, we need the leakage fixed, don’t we? Go ahead, let him come over."
"Okay, if you sa-" I was interrupted by our loud doorbell. "That’s him," I say quickly. I shut mom’s door and jog to the front door. "Hi, Peter," I say as I open it, only to realize that it’s not Peter standing at the door. "Oh, sorry- you’re not Peter. Hi."
"Hello," the unfamiliar boy laughs. "I’m Gene. I’m also lost."
"I’m Calida," I say diplomatically. "I just moved here, so I couldn’t give you directions anywhere."
"Oh." Gene’s face falls, and more softly and politely, he asks, "Can I use your phone?"
"Sure," I say in a higher voice than usual, and then pull my phone out of my pocket. "Just open it up and start diali
I have the whole thing in my blog on myspace (about 50 pages worth)
so if you want to check it out and give me a real opinion on the whole thing, just follow the link (or Copy+paste):
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=328504937
I hope you feel less lost reading it. haha :/